f o u r

our little miss penelope anne is four.  four, it seems so huge, so grown up.  and yet she remains my littlest girl.  she told me that when she turned four she wouldn't need to be carried any more, my heart almost broke on the spot.  since that time she has been in my arms more times than i can remember, she has been kissed more deliberately and tucked into bed more carefully.  she seems so small in some moments and in others, her legs hang below my knee caps when she is held, her printing is out of this world and her sense of adventure rivals most.

i can't stand this growing up thing.  it hurts my heart.  i long for the days to go a little slower, for the moments we have together to linger a little longer, for those times she still falls asleep in my arms to last a moment more.  she is growing out of her boston accent, and losing that timid shy self.  she is becoming more and more, each day, the girl that God has created.  and in the same breath that i say i can't stand it, i rejoice in it. i rejoice as i watch her make good choices, as she develops a character that is lovely and beautiful.  i rejoice in her love for the Lord, in her urgency as she prays for others in need and without the Father.  i weep even as i write this, i just love this little girl.  her heart and her spirit, her passion and strong will, though it often gets her in trouble i admire her strength.
she is a funny little girl and can laugh so deeply it moves us all to stitches.  she could care less if she gets in trouble and yet can't hold a lie in her heart.  she will hold your hand in every moment as long as she can be beside you and she will chat, without ceasing.  she is okay to play on her own and at the same time can't stand the moments that her sister is away from her.  she love cheetahs and flamingos and most days she will come with the request to be your pet baby cheetah.  you don't have to do much as the mama, just enable her to crawl on all fours and hunt for food.  she has requested to be a nurse for the people when she grows up and has also stated that she will have me over for tea when she has her own house.  her plan at this moment in time is to be a mom to over one hundred children.  i think she will make an amazing mom.

grow in faith and truth sweet girl.  know the Father well and the love that He has for you.  He is ever faithful. i love every moment i get to spend with you pen pen and though i hate that you are growing up i look forward to watching you follow the desires of your heart as you follow the plans that the Lord has for you.  choose well, stand strong in your passions, love deeply and never loose the urgency with which you pray with.