four

truth is, it is hard to believe she is four. i suppose all those passer byers who warned, "time will go by in the blink of an eye, seems like yesterday that my kids were little, now i'm a grandparent" were right. time really has escaped me.

i have wondered lately if we have given her enough encouragement, enough praise, enough teaching, enough of everything/anything. it is said that you learn the most and best in this time until you are six. we have every opportunity to develop in her character, values, strengths, discipline, kindness and love, we have a chance to show her Jesus in all that we say and do - my prayer is that we are, at least in some small way. she is growing so fast, and though everyone around can see that in terms of height, not all get the chance to see that in terms of character. as we were in the toy store picking out her gift from her grandma, she had in her hands two items that were very similar to each other. we tried to encourage her to choose objects that maybe differed from each, giving her a chance to play a little more diversely. she looked at us and replied that she had chosen the two in her hand because she would be able to share with and play with her sister, that they would be able to have similar toys. i may have teared up a little inside. although she does not always make the wisest or even the right choices, she makes me proud as she shows and demonstrates an attitude of love in little moments of life. four years have passed since i first met her, i first held her and stroked my fingers through her hair. four years since i brought her home, since we have been so blessed by her presence in our family. when i first started this journey i remember getting upset with my own mom, asking her why she made having kids out to be some sort of fairy tail, some romantic idea, because surly it was not. and though there are moments, moments every day that i am frustrated, and overwhelmed with the task of being a mom, i can see why we don't always talk about the hard stuff. maybe the hard stuff gives way to the beauty we see in our children, their laughter at the dinner table as they throw their heads back in pure delight seems to undo any sort of crazy feelings you had during the day. feeling their hands as they wrap their arms around you neck and having them share secrets with you, as they whisper "i love you, but don't tell anyone" in your ear, it makes the hardness okay, it makes the task of being a mom become a joy and privilege rather than a task. i am thankful for the chance to watch this little girl grow beside me. to see her letters form words on page, to see her develop wonderful friendships, to hear her communicate her heart with those around her, to see her likes and dislikes become more obvious. i am thankful to know her, to share memories with her, to create life together with her in our family.

beautiful sophie rayne, you are at times the most challenging and witty little girl i know. you have the ability to make me laugh until tears are running down my cheeks. you sing without a care in the world. you love to dance. you ask too many questions. you are only still if the tv is on, some days i wished i would let you watch more. your favorite color is pink. you dress yourself...and some times i am a little embarrassed to take you out, but i go with you anyway, i even hold your hand so people know you belong to me. you love to play lions with your dad and hide and go seek with your sister. you are a pro at riding a glider bike, it's pink with pink tassels. you are very protective of those you love. you are beautiful, and wonderful, you drive me crazy and i kinda like it.

we love you with every part of our beings. happy birthday sophie.