sigh

it is nap time...deep breath, almost relief, shoulders release.

new

new year; new activities, new challenges, new thoughts, new perspectives.

for sophie, the new year called into place the first of many swimming lessons. once she turned three she was able to tackle the pool all on her own. so she set off, with three other classmates to don the waters of walnut grove pool. for her, the smile was permanent. while the water was cold and her lips were blue she loved every moment of it, well maybe not every, maybe not the part where i had to go to the pool edge and remind her that we have to stay with the class and not venture off on our own. but other than that, she loved every minute of it.

-sophie calls this her 'pool dance', she breaks it out of us every once in a while.

-our little 'seastar' -penelope watches on for myself, back to school. only one course. i think i could only handle one. i don't remember how to write a paper, something about an introduction, a body and a conclusion. have no idea about font or size. and i am sure that my iq has dropped a significant number since, well, not being apart of the educational world. so here i go. first paper due on monday. first group project, january 25. right group projects. what have i gotten myself into? and this is the beginning of our new year.

dec 22 - jan 3

we begun our Christmas journey to the island this year with heavy hearts. having been faced with some pretty major issues, we had been riding an emotional roller coaster for a week and half leading up to our departure. we held each others hands tights, packed our bags and asked the Father to join us on our trip.

leg by leg, here is the document of our Christmas journey.

Tuesday December 22,

my dad's house.

sometimes i find it hard driving up the long driveway to a home that i don't know. a place where i have no real connections, a place where we are just starting to develop some memories. it's different than driving up a driveway to a place that was once home. a place where you grew up. at least there will always be one familiar thing about where my dad lives no matter where that may be, he will always be outside working when we pull up. and no different than any other day, this is where we found my dad on tuesday. outside, fire going, work to be done. i kinda love that about my dad. we bundled up and joined him. sophie was enthralled and sat with him on his tractors from the moment we got there, i don't believe they exchanged many words, just looks of concentration.

Wednesday December 23,

after discovering that one of the bathroom doors wasn't working, we had lunch with my dad and went on our way. heading down to my mom's to have dinner with my grandparents and great uncle frank.

i hope that one day i can be a great grandparent, there is such beauty in generations. something about the age of one beside another that makes my heart smile.

Thursday December 24,

a traditional event including three families; millers, osmans and farrells, their collective seven children and now their six grandchildren. having grown up with these friends, doing youth groups together, seeing each others awkward stages including pimples and bad outfits, it is kinda fun to interact now with their spouses, children and significant others.

on this day i cried a little inside. i watched the interaction between a father and his children. the father sat with his legs swinging under his chair and with great anticipation and excitement he tried to convince his children to join he and his wife for Christmas the next day for as early as nine o'clock. when he was turned down he eagerly asked for nine-thirty. complaints that this time was too early did not deter him, he only begged more with greater love that his children hurry and come to his house as soon as they could the following day. and he did not let up. his pure joy and excitement for spending time with those that he dearly loved poured out of his little heart and covered all who sat around. i blinked fast, kept the tears at bay and in a brief moment caught a glimpse of what our Heavenly Fathers love looks like. i had never seen a father so excited, so joyful, so determined to celebrate Christmas that i felt a wave of envy come over me, and i didn't understand how his beautiful children could resist his joy. it took a few days of wanting what was not mine and a conversation to remember and be thankful for all that i have and all that we are to become. i give thanks as i was shown in a moment what can be.

Friday December 25,

Christmas day.

celebration, presents, family, walks, cozy, easy.

one of the best things about my mom is that she knows me well enough to know that if you ask me to go for a walk i will be there by your side faster than you...well who knows, but i will be there. i wish to document that as much as a stress case she can be when she feels that dinner is not hot enough or when the beets explode in the microwave (dude, maybe a sign that you should leave the beets out next year), my mom's effort and joy surrounding this birthday is enough. enough to cover us all, enough to remind us of the beauty of the season, they are enough...which means she can get rid of the Christmas sweater and earrings! Saturday December 26,

started our journey up island and stayed with scotts mom for the next two days.

i love to watch her interact with the girls, often down on her hands and knees she plays with them on the floor and chases them around the house. this Christmas was no different. she had a few things that needed to get done and the help of a three year old was much needed. cookies to be decorated for the next door neighbor. they worked hard together and when the time came i watched them out the front window as they walked hand in hand across the road to deliver their Christmas package of goodies. my heart felt full. i love what we can teach our children. i love what our parents can teach our children even in small acts of kindness.

Tuesday December 29

headed across to our friends the baus to spend new years and scotts birthday.

somehow time got away from me around this point and the camera stayed tucked away. no pictures of siblings, no pictures of friends, no proof that time flew by, or perhaps it is. i regret not taking more photos as they are a sure way for me to remember looks, stages, personalities, but none the less this is where they end.

our time with rob, sam, emily and oliva went as always, wonderful. they are people who i consider to be dear friends, people who are a blessing to both scott and i, people who i treasure deep in my heart.

i leave with this last photo for this reason, sophie seems to have a real attachment to this young man, her uncle thayne. pretty much since the day we got home, she has pretended that he is on the phone and asks if uncle thayne can come over now, when told that he doesn't live here, her shoulders sink and her head drops, then she will look up and say, "maybe later mom?", i reply "maybe later sophie".