where we live

where we live is a little different than what most people experince. it isn't fancy, the water pipes and fire prevention pieces hang from every corner of the house. the window treatments fall at random times during the day and they are ever so dusty. the hot water pipes rattle so loudly we say there is a person stuck in the walls...we call him burt. there is a fan on the top of the roof that hums so loudly i imagine take off is not far off. it is a small house, and an oddly shaped house. we don't have a lawn out our back door, instead we have pathways that lead into secret gardens and mountainous hills that have yet to be concurred. we have offices that we visit and librarys to explore, we have a hallway to race in and trees longing for their sleeping lions to return. when new experiences are being had, there are numerous people encouraging and cheering on the learner. community is had whenever people gather. today, for an hour or possibility more it didn't matter how small this place was, how dusty and dirty the blinds are or how crooked my cupboards are. what mattered was the snowball fight that occurred outside fraser hall with sophie and the students. she stood her ground and fought both with and against a line of young men who had no issue handing back to her what she was willing to deal out. she ran and escaped, dodged and was pelted. her cheeks were rosy and her smile filled my heart. there was even the occasional one thrown from the hands of penny. where we live is not fancy but i felt like it was as if we lived in a palace today.

focusing

there are days when the air is crisp and snow covers the ground, when a family is together and adventure is looming just around the corner, that one needs no words to describe the events, the joys, the moments. when community is felt and not written of, when shared experiences are happening instead of being dreamed of. they came in small ways today, i just had to focus and when i did, my heart was overwhelmed with what it found.

a new adventure

"the land is a picture book green, with the trees and banana plants covering the lush ground, like a painting against a deep blue sky spotted with puff clouds. such little words to describe such beauty." i wrote this on May 2, 1999. i was sitting in a compound in Uganda, Africa and since that time i have had a desire to return, to engage in and show the world to my family. i have slowly added funds together to make such an adventure possible, the adventure of exploring nations, cultures, and landscapes that differ from ours. the adventure of blessing others while being blessed at the same time. the adventure of seeing the mighty hand of God beyond our own experiences. though a long way off from this being a possibility, my heart has been challenged over the past months. i seemed to struggle with the idea of collecting funds to send myself and my family to a place full of people who need help now. was this idea of going for selfish reasons or truly from a desire to walk with others on a different kind of journey. whatever the answer, as i am far from answering it, my heart seemed troubled over this thought. that aside, on the ferry trip home from the island at christmas time, scott shared with me that there was a truck for sale he would like to go and look at...we are in desperate need of a new mode of transportation. later that week he went, saw, and came home with a smile on his face that screamed little boy who just found his lost star wars hero. he communicated fuel millage, safety, and other reasons why this would be a good choice for our family. he left it at that and gave me a few days to think it over. my shoulders sagged and my tummy turned, i don't do well with big decisions, especially those involving money. i felt heavy under it all. and when a decision needed to be made i felt like i wanted to crumple to the floor....so i did dishes instead. over my soapy water i was flooded with one thought...that i did not hold my husbands joy. i could neither add to nor take away from the joy that he had, that was between our God and he, it did not have anything to do with me. whatever the answer i give, in whatever the situation, i can not cause more or less joy than he already holds. there was a burden lifted off my shoulders. i could see the situation a little more clearly. the money needed to be spent, and i understood that though it was a lot for our little family, it was not a lot for the place, culture and society that we live in. we drove out on saturday, and i cried. the truck had been held for us in spite many other offers and interest, so i would have a chance to see it, drive it and be wowed by it. and i was. we paid, i threw up in my mouth a little bit and kept my arms down for fear of showing my sweaty armpits. it was later when i thought it through. the money we needed to use to buy the truck came from the fund i was saving for africa, that is why i cried. but, the young man who sold the truck did so not because he wanted to, but because he needed to as he is heading to africa on an internship and he would only be able to go if he sold his truck. and he would have been able to sell his truck, he had many offers, but for some reason held the truck for us. i still get a little teary eyed when i think of the hand of our God. now is not the time for our family, for the adventures i have dreamed of, for our journey to a land that is picture book green with a deep blue sky spotted with puff clouds. but now is the time for someone else to travel there, someone who has been asked and is ready to follow. and maybe i was asked to save this money with the heart of africa in mind, not for myself but for someone else. "for i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope...you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13 and so, a new adventure comes with our purchase, an adventure across the globe for one and adventures yet to be dreamed of for four.

my one and only

i feel guilty really, keeping him to myself, not that i want to share this man, but i really do feel that this kind of quality ought to be experienced by everyone. beach waves for everyone.